5 Easy Things Helping Me While Baby Is In PICU

When the plan changes to the PICU…

When I started a blog focusing on chronic illness as a mom with kids with chronic illness, I expected to follow a schedule of posts. Some introductory posts here, some simple basic posts there… you know, “build it up.” But as it so happens, when you live a life like this, nothing will ever go according to plan. So we should be upfront with each other about that: this blog probably won’t be organized and filled with posts that are always congruent, because life isn’t congruent with these types of things. Maybe, if you’re finding this years down the road, it will be congruent, but right now I’m in the thick of it with you, in the PICU, trying to understand what I’m doing, wearing a face mask that takes me back way too closely to the pandemic.

I’m currently sitting in the PICU with my 6 week old baby. She has a respiratory infection, and we don’t know from what virus. It’s not RSV, or Covid, or the flu… just some run of the mill virus. And yet, here we are, in the PICU. One of my worst fears happening in real time. It’s day two of being here and we’re looking at about a week stay, maybe more. While having a baby in the PICU, everyone will be focused on your baby and it can be hard to think about what you need. Here are 5 things that have helped me so far that can maybe help you if you’re in the same situation:

1. A super long phone charger

I’ve had hospital stays with my kiddos before and this is the first one I’ve had a super long phone charger. I’m talking 12′ or more. If you have other kids, you will most likely be spending most of the time alone and updating people with your phone. Things can happen so quickly in the PICU, and I’ve noticed it always seems to get crazier at night when we expect we’ll charge our phones. Having a long phone charger helps me ensure I can stay connected, that my phone is charged enough for a long phone call with my husband while they’re doing procedures, and takes away that instant stress that comes with the “low battery” notification.

2. Earplugs and sleep mask

When my baby is stable, it is more helpful to drown out the hospital sounds with earplugs. Our PICU has rooms separated by sliding glass doors, so I hear everyone’s monitors and cries and it’s sometimes too much. And in a hospital, you can never really drown out the lights. Having the darkness with the sleep mask and the pressure with can be soothing. And trust me, you’re going to be perfectly tuned in to your baby’s alarms and sounds even with earplugs. It’s just a nice aid to get some separation, especially when you need your rest too.

3. A soft blanket from home

I’m grateful for the mercy of having my own hospital bed to sleep on as I’m still recovering from my C-section, but usually in a pediatric hospital setting the focus is on the comfort and need of the patient–not the parent. Hospital blankets and pillows are scratchy and stiff, so having a soft blanket from home can make a huge difference. I have a favorite blanket that just having with me feels warmer, softer, and less sterile than the hospital blankets. And it’s those little details that make a difference.

4. Favorite snacks

When you hear your baby is going to the PICU, eating is the last thing on your mind. After a long day of respiratory therapy, doctors, procedures, tubes, nurses, alarms, and updating people on the outside, I find I’m suddenly hungry…in the middle of the night. Since I’m breastfeeding, I get to order meals from the hospital patient menu, but those are only during certain hours. And so in the middle of the night when everything is slow and I’ve come to terms that “wow, I am so hungry” it helps to have some of my favorite snacks on hand. I have fresh raspberries, my favorite hummus and chips, and some lactation drink mix. When people ask what you need, try to think of your favorite snacks and ask them to bring some to you before you’re feeling snacky and need it!

5. Access to the bible

This might sound obvious to fellow Christians, but it’s not always obvious in the moment. When I say “access to the Bible”, I am totally aware that we often have access wherever and whenever because of the great World Wide Web. By “access” I mean the time, space, and willingness to access it. Sometimes I am fine with the mobile app version, and sometimes I really need to physically hold it in my hands to “feel the weight of the Word” as I read it. So whatever you need to do to convince yourself to read scripture instead of doom scroll or research everything going wrong–do that.

If you’re not a Christian, I understand why this tip might not seem helpful for you, and this is not a prescriptive list of things to help you while you’re in the PICU with your baby, but as transparency goes, this has been a life saver for me. For the Christian, try picking a verse to memorize or focus on while you’re in here. For me, it’s James 1:14-15

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.

James 1:14-15 NASB2020

James 1:14-15 “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.” Which might seem like a strange verse to memorize while your baby is in respiratory distress, but I’ve found temptation of all kind goes up in these situations and it is so easy to blame God. So easy to allow for sin and I have to remember that before I’m called to be mama, I’m called to follow Christ, and when that order is kept, He gives me the peace that surpasses all understanding and I am better able to love my baby when I am going to the source of all love. It is the biggest need I have–in and outside of the PICU.

So if you’re in here, in the thick of the PICU with me, I’m praying for you from here. We’ll get through this and these little comforts can really help. I hope they jog your thinking gears to think about what else might help you as your baby is getting all the care they need.

Chronically yours,

Sierra.